Bounce Back Bold

Before starting coaching with Salma, I was angry and confused about how I was raised, the injustices experienced by my mum and how that affected my childhood. I would often struggle with the two forces inside of me, the dark and the good or as Salma explained, the sage and the saboteur. I had never understood how to get those two forces on the same page and how if I could do that, the anger inside me would dissipate and I would learn how to act according to my religious and personal values.

I struggled with many vices and psychopathologies over the years, I received CBT and counselling therapy and educated myself in psychology which helped me understand what was going on in my head and how past trauma had affected my relationships, behaviour and personal development. The counselling and CBT helped me offload my resentments, however, I was left with the confusion of what that meant for me as a person. Who was I without these resentments and trauma? I found that I had a good side, willing to help anyone in need and work towards healing all injustices, but also a dark side, who masked emotions with substances, struggled with parenting, isolated herself in order to avoid any type of support or conflict and an overachiever, chasing degrees and awards to mask the turbulence of my inner child’s passive aggressive nature.

This is where I found Salma’s support to be crucial. Salma guided me through integrating the sage and saboteur by discovering and connecting with my core values, changing the narrative in my thoughts and implementing boundaries, intentions and goals into my daily routine. Although I had much knowledge of these tools and concepts through my education in Psychology and the talking therapies I had received, I found I was unable to implement them into my life as there was still a barrier to my healing – the war within between the sage and the saboteur. I found that the CBT would speak to the sage, but later the saboteur would take over and undo the therapy I had received; I had the knowledge but was unaware of the opposing forces within me fighting the positive work I was doing.

My coaching journey with Salma allowed me to put together the last piece of the puzzle to my healing journey, it allowed me to become self-actualised. I now have positive boundaries with others that allow me to avoid emotional triggers, I learned how to regulate my emotions during periods of difficulty and I learned positive coping mechanisms to enable me to maintain more positive relationships with my child, family and friends. During the sessions, I presented Salma with complex problems around cultural barriers, familial sexual abuse and addiction, parenting problems, anxiety and depression, we spoke on topics such as discrimination, social injustice, paedophilia, criminality and religion. Salma’s approach was one of compassion and no judgement, she understood the cultural and religious problems faced by South Asian women and was able to guide me to distinguish religion from culture to connect to my roots and re-evaluate my purpose and goals in life.

Since completing the program, I have experienced a much lighter mental load. I do not wake up feeling negative anymore, I enjoy each day, each interaction and each moment of beauty the world has to offer. As a result, my relationships with my family are now flourishing, I am calmer and much less angry as the war within me has come to an end. Everything is now peaceful. Positive or negative – I find the lesson in it rather than the complaint, therefore I can smile through anything now. Connecting to my values has allowed me to stop worrying and using masks as now I have the tools and the faith to get through anything. I have been able to step into my feminine energy after years of defensive masculinity, I now feel loved, appreciated and wanted.

Although I was initially sceptical about coaching, I have been pleasantly surprised by Salma’s approach and the results that my family and I are enjoying – a calmer, more regulated and happier mother, wife, daughter and sister. I would recommend this programme to any woman who struggles with injustices, a lack of inner peace and anyone who wishes to enhance their mental wellbeing. Receiving coaching from Salma feels like a warm embrace, a compassionate hug and a supportive crutch towards healing, one that within all my experience with therapists and in education, I have never discovered before. Salma can relate to problems with empathy and compassion before changing the narratives surrounding the issue, she validated my experiences before changing the harmful narratives playing in my head in order for me to be able to heal from the experience and find the lesson or the blessing in it. When you can find a blessing or a lesson in every experience in life, everything is a blessing. Salma has awoken my awareness to this and thus, positivity and happiness have simply become a way of life.

Saira Mirza